Sharing A Personal Experience – Was It A Sign?
I’ve been extremely interested in life after death, even at an early age, because I was always so afraid of the idea that we become ‘nothing’ after we die. Even as a child for some reason, I was very much aware that it seemed as if there was no such thing as an afterlife and that ghosts were simply the mental constructs of human consciousness it’s desperation to make sense of existence. As a roman catholic I was raised with the idea of divinity but I’ve always had EXTREME doubts of what I’ve learned in the church. I mention it because my story should have been all the proof I needed for the existence of God, but it has instead it only served to confuse me more.
I was senior in 1996 and I was at a religious retreat, in Long Island NY, with a group of boys from the military academy I attended. On the second to last night there we had the option to go to ‘confession’ which is a catholic sacrament during which you ‘speak’ with God through the Priest and ask for forgiveness for the sins you have committed. As I mentioned before I was extremely doubtful of the Catholic Doctrine, but I wanted to give it a fair chance and I thought that maybe I never really had actually given a true, honest and sincere confession, so I decided to do so that evening. They were offering confessions that night at the chapel, located approx. 200 meters from the dorms. The path was dark but the lights from the dorms and from the chapel were clear enough to make it feel ‘comfortable’ enough to walk between the two buildings, besides the location was a secure, gated area. I entered the chapel and sit in the confessional booth, I began uttering the words that are required to begin the confession and attempted to give the most sincere, honest and pure confession I had ever given, in the hopes that I would at least earn the right to be blessed with an affirmation that God exists. I felt no different other than my internal satisfaction that I did my best to be honest when speaking with God. I began walking back to the dorms when I stopped on the dark path back from the chapel, looked to the brightest star in the sky (which ended up being mars and not a star) and simply uttered, very quietly, a question; now? I meant have I now earned the right to know you are there, God? Am I now worthy of at least some type of proof you exist? I paused, for what may have been 2 to 3 seconds, waited, sighed and was about to continue walking away, when that ‘star’ I was looking at pulsed! It pulsed three times in a steady rhythm of brightness that lasted about two seconds each and even at that moment of stunning amazement, I had the presence of mind to look down at the ground because I wanted to make sure there was a shadow on the dark ground I was walking on. There was! There were a few bugs I clearly saw moving around the ground, during the second pulsing of light and I almost fell to my knees but I stood there, staring, for what seemed to be hours, but ended up being about 5 minutes. I started to walk back to the dorms, slowly and still in a kind of daze at the event I had just been a part of. I was silent for the rest of the evening and could not sleep that night, replaying the event over and over again. I also began to rationalize what I had seen. I thought maybe it was a helicopter since that is almost exactly the amount of light generated from the pulsing, but there was no sound, and no red or green lights that belongs on aircraft. I thought maybe there was a satellite and I was witnessing a reflection of it, but I later found out that there were none registered in that area, at that time, at that time of the year or month. I began to wonder why I had actually been ‘shown’ that light. Was it actually God? Was it coincidence or some type of natural anomaly that I simply cannot explain?
I never shared this story because I never had a chance to and I never thought it would be relevant to anything, but I gain nothing from it and I do not want to. I simply want to share a real and honest story that I personally experienced in my life.